How To Deal With Erection Failure. Part Two.

 Let us move to second stage of exercises. As we told in previous post, for that exercise you need your favorable disposed partner who will help you to deal with erectile failure. Both of you should understand that you need to be selfish and think first of all about personal needs if you want treatment to be effective. Partner should be ready for a certain disappointment because on this stage you cannot have sexual intercourse regardless of possible strong arousal. Certainly, you may bring him to an orgasm with your hand or oral sex at the end of each séance.

1. Make together exercise on concentration of sensations. Relax and get pleasure of the way your partner caresses your body. Do not think about erection at all. Do not think if it occurred or not.

2. Then your partner begins to stimulate your penis with hands till erection appears but not brings you to the orgasm. Lubricant increases sensations and helps to erection achievement. It would be better to make this in daytime when you usually feel yourself more tenderly responsive.

3. When you achieved erection, your partner stops stimulation and lets erection fully go away, and then starts stimulation again. You will discover that oral stimulation is a perfect way to achieve erection again (or to achieve erection at the beginning of exercise if it was difficult). This step would show you that lost erection may be restored at your wish. When you will understand that you may achieve erection, then weaken it and then again achieve it in partner's presence, let him bring you to an orgasm.

Male Orgasm Difficulties

Inability to achieve erection or maintain it is most important problem that may disturb a man. Obsolete term "impotence” reflects feelings caused by this failure. When considering sexual functioning, this term is almost useless because it means any erection failure – from an accidental case having a simple cause to total inability to achieve erection under any circumstances.

Sometimes it is difficult to achieve erection and maintain it, especially after hard drinking or as a result of great fatigue. Such moments occur in most males. However, if those episodes became rather a rule than an exception, you should address to the doctor because this may have a medical explanation.

You should go to a doctor if you never achieved erection. The problem may have a physical cause. However, physical and hormonal causes of erection difficulties meet rarely. In most cases permanent fiasco has psychological cause. The problem may appear as a result of feeling guilt suggested in childhood or teenage, or may be developed as a result of monotony in long-term relationship.

Probably, most often this problem may occur if one or two non-significant episodes suddenly become a trouble about male sexual abilities. Male condition which usually is called “troubling about the result”constricts the ability to achieve or maintain erection.

Sometimes you could not achieve erection when you wanted it or you achieved partial erection, or you lost it in critical moment. This occurs when you are not disposed to sexual intercourse or your partner not attracts you very much.
Sometimes natural anxiety prevents from achieving erection. This anxiety may be caused by nervousness because of new relationship or feeling of guilt because of illegality of relationship.

Temporal failures have sense only when you have sticked to yourself the label of “impotent” or when you let compulsive thoughts about possible fiasco in future take roots.

Short-Term Intercourse

Short-term sexual intercourse is an intercourse which lasts short period of time but the problem cannot be called premature ejaculation and its duration does not satisfy both partners.

Usually such intercourse lasts from 2 to 10 minutes during which woman cannot achieve orgasm and man does not feel inner satisfaction. This disorder can hardly be called a disease, however, for the improvement of environment  within a couple it is desirable to improve the situation.

It is still unclear what causes make partners be unsatisfied with sexual intercourse duration. In some cases it has the same causes as premature ejaculation which is showed in a lesser degree.

Not in any case of short-term intercourse it is possible to render a significant assistance to a man. Certainly, if doctor manages to make a given diagnosis, for example, chronic inflammation of seminal vesicles or hypersensitive glans then it would be easier to solve the problem.

In case when the cause cannot be established it is worth trying to increase sexual intercourse with special techniques. About them we will talk in the next article.
 

Delayed Ejaculation. Part One.

Ejaculation occurs not much rapidly as you and your partner wanted. There may be different causes for that: old age or medications such as antidepressants. Some think that the cause is condom, because its usage lowers penis sensibility. Others say condom helps them to orgasm faster. However, among young men most common the cause is excessive masturbation.

Delayed ejaculation may become a real problem when the couple tries to conceive a baby or has frequent intercourses. If male suffers from delayed ejaculation, then do appear problems with erection. This will make men's partner upset because she begins to think that she doesn't arouse him enough. You should know that all sexual problems concern both partners and the man should necessarily consult the doctor. Probably, only one visit to the sexologist will solve the problem.

Here are some tips to help men deal with delayed ejaculation.

Refuse from masturbation
This is the best solution for young men. When a man excessively masturbates, he works more intensively and longer to achieve ejaculation. Sometimes it leads to numbness of penis nerve endings which makes man less sensitive to gentle sliding into vagina. Besides this, excessive masturbation may make man achieve orgasm only during masturbation and not during sexual intercourse with a woman. Thus, the man would hardly find vagina able to squeeze his penis as strong as his own hand.

Put restrictions to your sex life
If you and your partner have too frequent intercourses, try to reduce them a little. Like excessive masturbation, frequent intercourses may lead to problems with ejaculation. Do not forget that each man has his own period for restoring.

Experiment
Try various sex positions and probably you would find most appropriate one for you. Most men consider that rear entry sex position gives greater sensation of narrowing because during frictions female pubic bones do slide on penis.

To be continued.

Psychogenetic Forms Of Premature Ejaculation

Most common psychological cause of premature ejaculation is overexcitement and this occurs more frequently in young men who just have started sexual life. However, premature ejaculation occurs in adult men too. In a very strong sexual excitement rapidly is increased strain in a particular part of cerebral cortex which leads to quick ejaculation and orgasm.

Another cause of premature ejaculation is fear of sexual intercourse. For example, sexual intercourse is performed in a inappropriate place which not provides safety (outside, in the car, when parents disturb).In this situation man hurries to finish intercourse and accelerate ejaculation. It should be noted that this occurs often in young men, therefore causes of premature ejaculation here may be defined rarely.

Distinctive features of psychogenetic premature ejaculation:

• beginning of sexual life
• rare, irregular sexual life
• duration of sexual intercourse may be different with different partners
• it is impossible to perform second sexual intercourse because of lack of erection
• premature ejaculation often courses with erectile problems
• sometimes abstract thoughts help to prolong intercourse. Such thoughts often lead to loss of erection
• small amount of alcohol usually greatly improves situation

Often psychologic problems with ejaculation are solved quickly with age and further sexual life experience. However, sometimes problems just get increased making sex life difficult or even impossible. Premature ejaculation sometimes goes with erectile dysfunction or ejaculation delay.

Severe psychologic problems require help of experienced sexologist or psychologist. Great importance has partner's behavior – it is easier to solve problem together than alone. Sensitive and intelligent woman is able to lend man greater support than a good psychologist.

Why It Is Difficult To Diagnose Sexual Disorders?

There is no exact definition for normal sexual life. Everybody has its own sexual life that is determined by personal preferences. Frequency varies from several times a week to several times a year.

Sex not necessarily means sexual intercourse. It is not necessarily felling the onset of orgasm in each partner. In fact, any person can have periods of sex cool down.There is no common sex standard, so sometimes it is difficult to say if the couple has sexual problems or not.

There are particular signs which help you to find out if you have sexual problems:

• the problem occurs permanently or it repeats quite often at length
• the problems causes stress – it makes man feel upset and greatly worries him
• the problem results in difficulties in the relationship and breaks down chemistry with sexual partner

Two last signs are most important. In many people  libido change and lowering of sexual function do not cause stress and do not influence on relationship with the partner. In this case there is no sexual problem. However, when a man suffers greatly from these changes, then we can say that the sexual problem exists.

Another difficulty is that sexual disorder is caused not just by one factor, it may be caused by the complex of physiological and psychological factors. Normal sexual function means passing through all sex stages:
1. Excitement
2. Blood flush into genitalia (erection in men, lubricant exudation and genitalia increase in women)
3. Orgasm
4. Feeling of satisfaction and satiation

Breakdown can occur on any stage of this cycle and it can be caused by a number of factors. Finally it results in sexual disorders.

The role of bad habits and diseases
Sexual disorders can be caused by the next factors:

• diabetes
• cardiovascular diseases
• neurological diseases (insult, brain injury and spinal cord trauma, multiple sclerosis)
• trauma or operation on pelvic organs
• side effects of drugs
• chronic diseases (kidney failure, hepatic failure)
• endocrine profile disorders
• drinking and taking drugs
• smoking
• aging changes

Psychological factors:

• stress on the work
• anxiety about problems in the family or with friends
• mental disorders (depression, anxiety)
• past unsuccessful sex

Associated diseases and disorders make people worry about their sexual function and namely this problem is added to the existing problem. In case of appearing of serious sexual problems first you should find out if they are connected with taking of some medicines, hormonal disorders, mental diseases (depression, anxiety) or mental trauma.

If it was detected one of these problems then it may be removed by the doctor. Otherwise the relationship in the couple must be analyzed. Sexual disorder may appear just in a certain situation. It means that problem exists just in one partner in a certain situation. In this case both partners should consult psychologist.